The Just Application of Stones and Fire

NOTE: This story is not for those with weak compositions.

mysteriousKameela was a Muslim woman accused of adultery, an accusation she didn’t deny. And so, in accordance to the the laws of her faith, she was sentenced to be stoned. However, it was a fair stoning. The law graciously provides a way out. After being blind-folded and buried up to your chest with your arms bound to your side, a large circle is drawn around you. If, after the stones begin to fall, you can extract yourself from the ground and make your way to the outside of the circle, you are then free to go back to court and try to establish your innocence.

And so the stoning began. As she felt her cheek bone shatter, Kameela cried to Allah to give her strength, and with a mighty effort, unleashed the full force of her slight frame against the soil. It moved slightly. But then another stone, and another, thrown by the more devout of the crowd, cracked against her skull. As consciousness faded, she made one final effort. When the stoning stopped, it was noted Kameela had nearly managed to unearth an arm. But the will of Allah had been done.

. . .

Kameela awakens at the feet of God. But there’s something not quite right. God does not look very welcoming. He is frowning at the contents of a folder in his hand. “Allah” she says timidly. “I accept your will.”

“Allah?” God snorts without looking up. “So you’re one of those” he states without attempting to hide his annoyance. “My name happens to be Jehovah.”

Kameela stands speechless. Not only had she been stoned by the devout of her village, but they had been misleading her all her life.

Jehovah finally looks up from the folder he holds in his hand. “So, I see you’re an adulteress.”

Kameela is puzzled. “But, Jehovah…” she says awkwardly. “Surely you know in your omniscience that the man who raped me threatened to kill my parents should I ever tell the truth.”

“So you didn’t tell the truth?” Jehovah responds.

“Well, no…”

“Then you are deserving of Hell-fire.”

Kameela is taken aback. “But it seems I had no choice!” she finally cries.

“Yeah…” Jehovah shrugs. “It seems your grandpa Adam from 6,000 years ago didn’t do what he was told, and then passed this proclivity to sin to everyone. You all sin. It’s in your nature.”

“So you’re condemning me for acting consistent with my nature?” Kemeela says. “Is that just?”

Jehovah rolls his eyes. “I work in mysterious ways. What seems unjust to you makes perfect sense in my mind. But listen, I have some good news. I’ve provided a way of escape from Hell-fire. See! I’m actually a really nice guy!”

“Hold on a moment” says Kameela. “Can we go back to the issue of my guilt. I really don’t see the logic behind assigning guilt to behavior that is in someone’s nature.”

Jehovah stiffens. “You’re so focused on the negative! Why not look at the positive?”

“Ok, what is the positive?” asks Kameela skeptically.

Jehovah then reaches for a rather large book and begins flipping through it. “How do you spell your last name again…oh, here it…should be…nope. You’re name is not here in the Book of Life. You did not accept my son Jesus as your personal savior. If you had, I would have given you eternal life.”

“Jesus?” Kameela exclaims. “I thought he was just a prophet! That’s what my parents and the elders in my village told me.”

“Well, it serves you right for listening to them.” Jehovah says smugly.

“Who else was I to listen to?” asks Kameela incredulously.

“You haven’t read the Bible much, have you?” Jehovah chastens. “Romans chapter one clearly states that my invisible attributes, including my eternal power and divine nature, have been understood and observed by what I made, so that people are without excuse.”

“But isn’t that a bit incomplete?” Kameela protests. “Believing the stars were created, and understanding that Jesus is my only hope for salvation are several assumptions apart!”

“Such as?”

Kameela takes a deep breath. “Such as the assumptions of sin and guilt and Hell and Jesus and…”

“…and redemption and the resurrection” contributes the angel Gabriel standing nearby. Then turning sheepishly towards Jehovah, “Well, the Apostle Paul did make that an important part of the Gospel, did he not?”

Kameela, now emboldened continues “Isn’t it just as unfair as expecting someone to dig themselves out the ground while being stoned?”

Jehovah scratches his beard and mumbles something that sounds like “That was a damn good point.” Finally he looks up. “Well, my ways are not your ways.”

“Do you mean you’re illogical?” Before the words leave her mouth, Kameela knows that it is a mistake, but perhaps due to a bit of bitterness towards all her recent misfortunes, she can’t help herself. She had been born into sin after all.

“There!” Jehovah shouts. “You are in rebellion against me!” And with that, he opens the gates to Hell and drags Kameela to the brink of the flaming pit.

“But wait!” Kameela screams in desperation. “Aren’t you a loving God? Don’t you love me?”

By this point, all the demands of logic and reason, as well as the sulfur, are making Jehovah a bit dizzy. He remembers that he had indeed somewhere stated that he loved everyone, but everyone should understand that his love works in mysterious ways. His love is not their love and is beyond all understanding. And besides, he had written that a long time ago. Feelings change. He coughs, then drops Kameela into the pit.

NOTE: The concept of Hell is irrational and cruel, a device conjured up by humans who like to control other humans. You don’t need to fear Hell to be good, and Hell is not even close to fulfilling common standards of justice which even religionists hold. It is akin to making a child stay in bed by telling them their is a monster under the bed. Shame on you if you promote this notion.


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