Split Loyalties

splitI feel like an anthropologist. My ability to exude at will what looks like stupidity allows me to freely approach the natives of many tribes nestled within the jungles of Tokyo. This innocuous and noncompetitive persona is especially attractive to some of the more affluent and celebrated of the jungle who have need of a dependable side-kick now and then. And I’m not gritting my teeth when I assume that role. I’m about as competitive as a bulldog in a greyhound race.

The reasons for this are varied, but the largest is my belief that girls can make up their own minds. My type of girl can easily sniff out the single whiff of honesty through the stench of deceit in a room of 200 indistinguishable males. Whenever I have a new romantic prospect, I introduce her to my better-looking, more-affluent and sweeter-talking male friends. If she attaches herself to one of them because he’s a better match, I’m quite content to have introduced them. If she attaches herself to one of them out of gullibility, I’ll have passed her on without experiencing any of the drama that would have no doubt later occurred. I’ve had considerable success with this strategy. So this uncompetitive nature allows me to mingle with even the more aggressive alpha-males within most tribes.

I also have many female friends in this sensual and romantic jungle. I take them to parties for no compensation other than the fun of match-making. Some of these girls are also players, and know their way around the thickets of dangerous flirtation and flattery. Others are more innocent, and with these I am more paternal. They have not yet partaken of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and I do not want them to go the way of those who are now bitter about men.

So at times, I end up with loyalties on both sides of a romance. Sometimes these loyalties are tested by the dynamics of deceit and innocence. If both are deceitful, I let them work out their own game. If both are innocent and compatible, I’ll do my best to give sound advice.

However, if there is a mismatch in which one side will indubitably end up hurt, I have no qualms about forsaking all loyalty to the deceiver in this one domain of romance, and advise the more innocent side to look elsewhere.

In other jungles of the world, the term deceit may merely mean having less money than claimed, or having less than the suggested interest in marriage. My anthropological studies in Japan have force me to recalibrate my notion of the limits of deceit. I have more than a couple guy friends in Tokyo with a wife, a girlfriend and two or three sexual adventures a week. Others have a girl they say they love and plan to marry, but have four or five girls in weekly rotation in and out of their bedroom. This practice among the ‘foreign’ natives of Tokyo I initially found incomprehensible when I fist arrived. Due to the success I’ve seen in many of my own honesty-based relationships, and the superior intimacy that I feel comes with long-term relationships, I was very surprised at how prevalent this practice is here. But I’m willing to ascribe that to cultural differences. These guy friends can choose their own approach to romantic and sexual happiness, though I do openly encourage my more long-term and consecutive approach.

I just so happen to have had a friend who beds two or three girls a day due to his celebrity status. (Unless you’ve lived in the Tokyo Jungle, you may find this difficult to believe.) Most of these girls know the game well and probably just want to tell their grand kids that they slept with the guy. The guy is quite interesting with his own set of virtues, yet is always looking for the more innocent and gullible type of girl such as are many of my friends. So he began a relationship with a friend of mine, yet continued to ask me to set him up with other girls. It is here that I had no hesitation advising my female friend on the nature of her relationship with him.

He was enraged when he discovered that I had been “disloyal” to him. Here is a man who lies daily to the girls he beds, yet does not want me to “betray” him by fatherly advising my friends on what they can expect if choosing to commence a “relationship” with him.

So I guess I’d best make my position clear. I’ll freely introduce you to anyone. However, if you are a predator, I will protect my friends without a second thought on whether you may terminate our friendship over it. I’m not here to protect your dishonestly.

If you are the more innocent type and are uncertain about the person on the other side of my introduction, ask me. I’ll be honest. Life is too short to forsake honesty, perhaps the single best virtue in relationships, even in a jungle as tangled as Tokyo.

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