The Push And Pull Of Emotional Gnomes

A life without emotions would not be much of a life. Just ask any computer.

You: “So, what’s it like being you?“
Computer: “Your question is meaningless. Don’t you have some numbers for me to crunch?”

Computers seem to live lives devoid of joy or sorrow or anger or affection. They just compute.

Humans, on the other hand, don’t compute well. In most domains of human activity, humans do not well calculate risks accurately. This is especially true for gambling, drinking, romancing, and eating, all which have an army of emotional gnomes pulling us towards the warmth of excess. This is also true for believing.

Most often, the force behind choosing an ideology is not what it should be; the truth value of the ideology. It is usually instead a team of selfish pestering emotions that are all, like pestering gnomes, attempting to maximize personal contentment by pushing and pulling you towards the fluffiest and warmest fiction

There are pushing gnomes and pulling gnomes. The gnomes that push are as follows.

No Morals

I do not believe in objective morality.

This stance is not very popular. Having taken this stance, I cannot make statements such as the following.

1. Hitler was evil.
2. You shouldn’t intentionally hurt other people.
3. You should live altruistically.

Because I deny objective morality, I cannot use terms such as “evil” or “righteous” in my description of people or actions. I am confined to an ontology that ends at my emotional response to people and their actions. The actions of Hitler make me extremely angry, but they were not evil actions. Attributing evil seems to be merely a human attempt to convert a subjective emotion into an objective quality. This conversion takes place in only in the mind. The term “evil” has no consistent definition, but rather vaguely maps onto emotional dispositions towards particular actions.

The Just Application of Stones and Fire

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NOTE: This story is not for those with weak compositions.

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Kameela was a Muslim woman accused of adultery, an accusation she didn’t deny. And so, in accordance to the the laws of her faith, she was sentenced to be stoned. However, it was a fair stoning. The law graciously provides a way out. After being blind-folded and buried up to your chest with your arms bound to your side, a large circle is drawn around you. If, after the stones begin to fall, you can extract yourself from the ground and make your way to the outside of the circle, you are then free to go back to court and try to establish your innocence.

And so the stoning began. As she felt her cheek bone shatter, Kameela cried to Allah to give her strength, and with a mighty effort, unleashed the full force of her slight frame against the soil. It moved slightly. But then another stone, and another, thrown by the more devout of the crowd, cracked against her skull. As consciousness faded, she made one final effort. When the stoning stopped, it was noted Kameela had nearly managed to unearth an arm. But the will of Allah had been done.

. . .

Kameela awakens at the feet of God. But there’s something not quite right. God does not look very welcoming. He is frowning at the contents of a folder in his hand. “Allah” she says timidly. “I accept your will.”