The Best Sex Is With Someone You Love

This post is an elaboration of #6 from a list of things I learned early in life.

---

Some friends think I’m crazy, but I’ve turned down more than a dozen offers of one-night-stands in Tokyo. And it’s not that I won’t take a girl home the first time I meet her if I find her fascinating in the required dimensions (no, not only those dimensions), but I need someone with whom I can emotionally connect.

I was a virgin when married at age 23, and was quite idealistic about the beauty of having sex with someone I planned to be with forever. A divorce and several relationships later, I still find myself happiest when I’m focused on only one interesting woman, though I acknowledge now that romantic love is not very obedient to expectations, and may not be as forever as I initially plan.

Teeth, Sex And Demons

In a recent TED TALK, Mary Roach discusses the case of a woman who experienced an orgasm whenever she brushed her teeth. Instead of rejoicing over this odd phenomenon, the woman assumed a demon was the cause of such pleasure and replaced her toothbrush with oral rinse.

This may be an extreme case, but millions of other humans also implicate dark spiritual causation when dealing with their own sexual urges. In some cases they may blame some demonic entity, but in most cases, the urges are attached to a culpable “sin nature”. Some religions go so far as to claim “lust” is deserving of eternal damnation.

What is it about our sexuality that makes us feel guilty about our urges and conjure up all manner of spiritual entities in an attempt to cope with and manage our “shameful” sexual selves? Here are a few factors.